Just A Thought: An Age Old Battle

A Matter of Age.
Last week I completely devoured Lily Collins' autobiography, 'Unfiltered' on the two hour flight from Melbourne to Brisbane. In fact, I very nearly finished the whole thing on the plane - it was that captivating. Lily brings up a number of topics that anyone can relate to and empathise with - all of which are extremely relevant to young adults in this point of time. She discusses a spectrum of challenges we face as youth - from toxic relationships to discovering a sense of self acceptance - the talking point that's really stuck with me though, is that of age.

As a little girl growing up, I always considered myself 'older' than I truly am. This meant associating myself with the 'big kids', feeling as though those my own age were in a league of their own that I simply didn't belong to. I'm not really sure where the crux of this mentality originated from, but it certainly made for entertainment when my parents had their friends over - I would want to be as equally involved in their adult dinner conversations as they were themselves (not knowing what was being discussed, but wanting to be involved none-the-less).

As a result, I 'grew up' pretty quickly, with a bit of an old soul and the mentality of a young adult - constantly wanting to keep up with current world happenings as soon as I realised that these were things that adults took notice of in every day life (everything from news to trends). I was a kid who just wanted to be taken seriously by other people around me. You could probably say that I wanted to be an independent individual pretty early on, wanting to face the world as a successful young woman ASAP. In hindsight, I think that was one of the main factors of wanting to start RA - because it was such an accessible platform that I could easily share my thoughts with the rest of the world on - regardless of my age at the time.

I was constantly (and still am in ways) in a state of looking ahead - wanting to be one of the big kids in primary school, then high school, then as soon as high school begun I was yearning for the life of a University student - and here we are today, one year deep into a four year degree. I often felt confused about why the other kids around me weren't thinking of the same things that lay ahead. I used to wonder, "Why aren't my friends thinking about these things? It's such a huge next step toward becoming the version of them that they want to be!" - it took a little while for me to realise that I was 100% over thinking things, and that it really isn't crucial to know what you want in life from a young age. Heck, I have no idea where I'll be in one year let alone five or ten - and that's totally fine!

These days I try and make a conscious effort to focus on the present and what surrounds me at this point in time, but don't get me wrong I still get a huge kick out of planning for the future - I'm just trying to tone it down a notch. We're living in a world that is constantly evolving; socially, politically and physically, with a majority of these factors not really in our control. So I'm making a pledge to concentrate on the aspects of my life that make me feel fulfilled and as if I'm really living in the present moment.

Love, Renée.